When 'perfect' gets in the way.

Why it’s time to let go of perfect, and just start!

I have wanted to learn to paint for years. I got a beautiful set of paints, brushes and watercolour paper for my birthday recently, but felt totally unable to start. For fear of not being able to do it perfectly first time. It sounds absolutely ridiculous when I say it ‘out loud’, but I suspect many of you know the feeling.

Well I decided to get over myself and just START last week. And I did. And yes, it was far from perfect, and it was messy, and lots of things didn’t work. But the world did not stop spinning. And do you know what happened? I REALLY enjoyed it. And I did a bit more the next day. And yesterday I painted some bluebells for my brother’s birthday. And I have a feeling it’s going to be something that brings me a huge amount of joy and peace. Just imagine how sad it would have been if I had let that perfectionist paralysis stop me, and I’d never discovered how much I enjoyed it?

I used to think perfectionism was a good thing - proof that I cared, that I was hardworking, that I had high standards and always did my absolute best. As a musician, I’ve put myself under enormous pressure to be perfect on stage (I’m fairly sure all musicians can relate!). That same desire for perfection often spills over into everyday life too. And yes, perfectionism can help. It can sharpen our attention to detail, motivate us to reflect, and push us to grow. But there’s a fine line between striving for excellence and being stuck in the pursuit of the impossible.

Whilst it might look like dedication on the outside, perfectionism often quietly chips away at our confidence and joy. How? Paralysis over progress – Waiting until everything is ‘just right’ means we often don’t begin at all. Fear of failure – What if we’re not brilliant the first time we try something new? Chronic self-doubt – Even small mistakes can feel like proof we’re not good enough. Burnout & procrastination – We overwork trying to meet impossible standards, or avoid tasks altogether.

Perfectionism convinces us that if we can’t do it perfectly, we shouldn’t do it at all. But life doesn’t work that way—growth, learning, and joy live in the messy middle.

Why It’s Important to be a Beginner- No one is good at something the first time they try, and that’s ok! Skills come from doing, not waiting. Allowing yourself to be “bad” at something creates space for creativity, freedom, and confidence to grow.

When we let go of Perfect amazing things can happen: we try new things more freely. We become more resilient and self-compassionate. We stop tying our self worth to how well we perform. We might uncover hidden talents, interests, and joys.

Top Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism - Try something totally new—and allow yourself to be bad at it. Even rubbish! - Set "imperfect" goals - focus on the effort, not the outcome. - Reframe failure as learning. Every mistake is data, not disaster. - Use journaling to notice your inner perfectionist voice, and gently challenge it. - Celebrate starting, even if things don’t go perfectly.

The next time your inner perfectionist tells you to wait until you’re ready, thank her, and then do it anyway. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to begin.

✨ Join me at my next Monthly Journal Club on Tuesday 14th May at 7.45pm BST, where we’ll explore how perfectionism might be holding us back, and how we can move forwards with courage, compassion, and curiosity. (see Journal Club page for booking details)